Philadelphia, PA

Hah, people in Gloucester County are suffering from a wild boar invasion.

As many as 100 feral swine are ripping up golf courses, rooting through flower farms and generally making a mess of things in the swamps, forests and fields of Gloucester County. Thought to be descendants of domestic hogs freed from pens at least a decade ago, the belligerent boars have mentally and physically regressed and are no longer the familiar pink porkers slopping it up on lazy little farms. [...] “They eat anything, endangering rare plants and degrading the habitat. They compete with native wildlife, eating the eggs of ground nesting birds like quail and turkeys,” said Lawrence Herrighty of the state Division of Fish and Wildlife.
Feral pigs have been declared one of the most destructive invasive species on the planet, and the federal government estimates about 6 million of the animals are digging up crops and making mud wallows of sensitive vernal pools, where rare reptiles and amphibians reproduce. They also are reservoirs for a host of diseases that impact domestic livestock, wildlife and even humans.

“They are a threat to wildlife, agriculture and landowners,” Herrighty said. “They have to be eradicated.”

Under a contract finalized in April with environmental officials and the state Department of Agriculture, federal biologists began trapping, testing and killing the hogs in June but so far have bagged only three.

I wanna’ go check this out. Who wants to come with?

Catherine Lucey sends the joyous news that Jack Kelly’s chief of staff has been indicted, along with three other developers. The local developers were not able to appear in funny photo’s though. I know, big let down.

It’s the case of the nonexistent ninja.

Public schools in Barnegat, NJ were locked down briefly after someone reported seeing a ninja running through the woods behind an elementary school.

Turns out the ninja was actually a camp counselor dressed in black karate garb and carrying a plastic sword.

Police tell the Asbury Park Press the man was late to a costume-themed day at a nearby middle school.

The lockdown began shortly after 9 a.m. Wednesday and lasted until 9:30.

Oh, kids.

Bill Cosby’s hip-hop CD comes out soon, and boy is the nation excited! The Cos(by) gave an interview to Ukee Washington, who irritatingly kept calling him “Dr. Cosby.”

Cosby told kids to put down guns and get real jobs by going to Community College. And look what you can do afterward!

“You can become a mechanic, what kind of mechanic? Air-conditioning? Listen, think about that. You can charge 75 dollars just for showing up, not having the parts and saying you’ll be back! That’s a lot of money!”

Hey, kids, put down the guns and you can get a job as an unreliable mechanic everyone hates! Thanks, Dr. Cosby. We can’t wait to hear what else you have to say.

Skeletor hosts the Karaoke Gong Show at the Troc. Singing are Erin Evans of West Chester (hat) and Amy Sullivan of Conshohocken (horns).

Frankly, this caption is way better without the photo. Also, this story features a quote from Michael Andrews, formerly known as Couzin Ed (he’s on the radio in Vice City!): “When you play Rock Band at home, it’s like just singing in the shower. When you play Rock Band in a bar, it is a real gig.” I’m going to set up Mario Kart at a racetrack.

And, yes, Larry West is quoted in this article. If I didn’t suck at games like Rock Band (and Guitar Hero, and DDR, and Simon, and any of those ‘follow and/or memorize the pattern’ games), who knows - I probably would’ve been quoted, too.

Let’s Play! (Inquirer)